Tuesday, August 30, 2011

Strange Mormon Customs #2


In light of the recent hurricane AND earthquake that occurred in my state last week, I would like to dedicate my next “Strange Mormon Customs” post to the overwhelmingly strong urge most Mormons have to store vast quantities of food.

We do this for many reasons: to prepare against natural disasters, job loss, disability, and…dare I say…Armageddon.

I myself have a small cache of wheat under my house. As well as black beans, corn, freeze-dried meat, dried fruit and potato flakes.
In my kitchen I have canned fruit, powdered milk and even this strange egg-powder stuff that I am afraid of.

Some of the can labels claim the food inside will stay “fresh” for 25 years. I could buy it now and still eat it when I am 58.
But even if that is the case, they say that you are supposed to do your best to actively use it, and rotate it, for two reasons: 1. so you know how to use it (after all, you have to grind the wheat before you can make bread, and you have to soak the beans before you can make soup) and 2. so your family can get accustomed to the taste.

I heard of one experiment where they had families live off their food storage for a month and they all had to go to the hospital with intestinal problems since their stomach wasn’t used to the foods.
My favorite (and most inspiring) food storage experiment was done by my aunt. She surprised all her adult children with a challenge: live off your food storage for two weeks, starting TODAY. Ready, set, go! (well, they had a little time to prepare...) You can read about it on her daughter’s blog. (Click on the link and then scroll down to "14 day challenge.")
Perhaps you are impressed with my food storage. But let me tell you a secret, sister, I am just a baby in the food storage world. There are Mormon women out there who could feed entire states from their basements. And not because they have tons of food…but because they know how to use it.
For instance, my sister regularly cooks dutch oven meals for her family and can make a baking oven out of an apple box that gets hot enough to make muffins—without electricity. Every year she plants a garden and cans everything in bottles, including salsa and her own grape juice. Not only does she have a year’s supply of food, she also has a year supply of fuel with everything from charcoal bricketts to propane tanks. I will not tell you where she lives for fear you might mob her after the next natural disaster. Besides…I’ve got to get there first.

This is water to help our toilets flush just in case the electricity goes out.
I think I have enough here for about two and a half flushes.
You know you are really prepared when you have the gadgets to go along with the food: the food dehyderator, the water purifiers and all the canning paraphernalia.
My most high-tech food storage gadget is my wheat grinder that hooks on to my Kitchen Aid, modeled here by my daughter:

It is the best thing in the world. I can grind wheat just like the Little Red Hen. Two days ago I ground my own corn and made corn muffins. It is kind of scary that I get a “high” from grinding my own grains. I even have a recipe to make my own tortillas, if there was someone in my family who would eat them besides me. There is only one problem with my grinder: it needs electricity. And in an emergency that is the first thing to go. My next food storage gadget will have to be a generator.
Obtaining this much food is difficult. Storing it is even harder. A simple pantry is not enough, so we have to improvise. I knew a woman who used 5 gallon buckets filled with sugar and flour as dining room chairs. Many of us have constructed nightstands with boxes of canned food, concealing it all under a lacey tablecloths. I have even heard of women who have false walls in their homes, just for cans. I want one of those.
I hope you appreciate how revealing it is for me to show you my food storage on line like this. It is like a woman sharing her how much she weighs. In a way it shows how prepared/obedient or unprepared/slacker I am….of course, it is all relative compared to how much YOU have stored.
By the way, I weigh 485 pounds.
Once upon a time it was asked that LDS church members store a year supply of food. Do you know how much a year supply is? That is a TON of food. Literally.
Then a few years ago the church revised their recommendations. They are as follows:
1. Gradually build a small supply of food that is part of your normal, daily diet until it is sufficient for three months
2. Store drinking water
3. Establish a financial reserve by setting aside a little money each week, and gradually increase it to a reasonable amount.
4. Once families have achieved the first three objectives, they are counseled to expand their efforts, as circumstances allow, into a supply of long-term basic foods such as grains, legumes, and other staples.
May we all be prepared. Consider yourself warned.

7 comments:

  1. I've been wondering what those jugs in the garage were for. I hope I'm one of the first two and a half people that use the bathroom after the disaster!

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  2. I'm so glad the church made me feel better about being underweight! I seriously can not stop laughing.!. And not just at Naomi's forced smile next to the wheat grinder. Chelsea, I am afraid she doesn't understand the importance of what she is modeling. Or maybe she is also thinking you need a generator. My grandmother who lives 2 miles away makes fun of our food storage. I've never thought of under the house. Do you go down there? I have a new respect for you if you do. 485 pounds and you go under the house? I'm afraid our 'pet' rat snake would eat ours. Well, I guess I wouldn't have to worry about rodents eating it. Tell Scott we have enough water to flush at least 20 times, so we'll just roll one of our barrels down. Right now they are pretending to be water barrels on my back porch. I'm thinking the challenge would be a fun experiment. Let me know how it goes.

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  3. We have a whole upstairs closet dedicated to our food storage. But mostly just normal items that go bad in like 2 years. Wheat scares me big time. I will give up breads in an emergency.

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  4. Our storage is all over our house. Garage, closets, under the stairs, under the beds, over the cabinets...

    The biggest problem we have is finding places to put our new preparedness items.

    Having to actually live on it for a few weeks - that sounds like a challenging and entirely useful exercise... Looks like we have our work cut out for us!

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  5. Great post. I've been thinking a lot lately about food storage and now it's time to get to the doing. I am canning beets from our garden tomorrow, so that's a start, and I have jam to last ages! Obviously I need to get instructions for these apple box muffins you speak of.

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  6. Even with the revised guidelines, people like your amazing sister make me feel so unprepared. I have a one in three chance of finding the correct sister in an emergency (four sisters minus you=my survival chance).

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  7. This blog is the most informative I have been able to find so far. I recently befriended someone that is a Shelf reliance consultant. I had never heard of the company or even the concept but she gave me a shelf reliance coupon and now I am in the process of starting to fill up my pantry. I am glad I am not the only one that is preparing for Armageddon. Thanks again for the fun read.

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