If there is an opposite of a gardener, that is what I am.
It is a good thing that children are not green, since I have never had any luck growing something that color. Plants wilt if I breathe on them. Tomatoes break out in boils if I touch them. Seeds I sew go into the dirt and never come out again. The only thing I have really ever had luck growing are cactuses (cacti, for all you smarties out there).
But this year is different. This year is the Year of the Dragon, the year when successful people are born, when successful businesses are started, and hopefully, successful gardens are grown. If there is any year when I have some hope to having a lush garden, this year is it. This year is the year of the Dragon Garden.
But the cards are already stacked against me. We live on a wooded, one acre hillside and the dirt is not really dirt at all, but red clay. Realistically, I would have more success trying to become a brick mason.
Plus, we have deer, rabbits, birds and squirrels to worry about, and no-see-em bugs that like to eat you clear to the bone so that by the end of the summer me and my children need skin graphs. I raise them to fear grass. As you can see, my work is cut out for me.
In order to make my shady clay hillside spring forth into garden abundant I needed a little help from my ingenious husband.
We actually began this process at the end of last summer.
To solve the shade problem he cut down a tree.To solve the clay problem he had a truck deliver top soil.To solve the hillside problem he created a retaining wall.
To solve the deer problem he got me a dog.
(Doesn't he look absolutely ferocious? I bet you are glad you are not a deer.)
I'm not sure how Turkeyboy can help me solve the bugs that have already given me 8 years of scars, but I have a feeling it is spelled D-E-E-T.
Now my husband says it is my turn to start working. :)
So let the Year of the Dragon Garden begin!